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Fathers learn how to be a dad at
conference
American novelist Ernest Hemingway once suggested that to be a successful father, men should follow one absolute rule: "When you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years." He was wrong. Real, honest-to-goodness dads are involved in their children's lives no matter how exciting, overwhelming, gut-wrenching or life-changing fatherhood seems. The importance of it all may sometimes get lost in the life's day-to-day struggles. But to their children, fathers are revered as if they are the most powerful men in the world. And, these men can touch their children in ways they will remember for the rest of their lives. The second annual "Celebration of Fatherhood" conference inspired and equipped men to be more effectively involved in the lives of children by sharing practical resources with fathers, their families, community members and social service providers. West Hawaii Fatherhood Initiative, Hawaii Children's Trust Fund and the Neighborhood Place of Kona sponsored Saturday's conference at the Outrigger Keauhou Beach Resort. Approximately 100 people attended. The mission was to support fathers in understanding how babies develop, parenting with love and creating strong and healthy families. The result was a profound impact. "CPS (Child Protective Services) keeps taking my kids away," said Marshall Kaiwi of East Hawaii. "I learned what to do to get them back. I'm not a perfect father, but I want to be a better one." Throughout the day, participants were introduced to positive role models, training activities, community advocacy, social groups and classes on parenting and child development issues. They chose from eight workshops, including legal issues, substance abuse prevention and working with "out-of-control" teenagers. "Men have to rise above a crisis," said Larry Ursua, coach for the West Hawaii Fatherhood Initiative. "After a fall, they will know what they are made of. Then they must rise and take the call." During the "Navigating Fatherhood" speech by Hokualakai and Hokulea navigator Chad Baybayan, participants discovered how the history of Polynesian navigation has been used over many centuries to pass on important cultural knowledge from father to their children. He tried to instill the idea of mentoring and leadership. Baybayan told stories about the greatest men he knew. The list included: His father who died of chronic leukemia, his stepdad from the Midwest, the well-known lifeguard and big-wave surfer Eddie Aikau and former Bishop Estate trustee Pinky Thompson. But it was Mau Piailug, a traditional navigator from Micronesia, and Nainoa Thompson, Polynesian Voyaging Society sail master, who Baybayan praised repeatedly. Without these two men, Baybayan said "there would be no legacy to ensure or pursue." He insisted Hawaiians would not know how to navigate in the ancient manner of using the stars and swells, which was closely similar to extinct Polynesian methods. Nainoa Thompson inspired and led a revival of traditional voyaging arts in Hawaii. He developed a system of wayfinding by synthesizing tradition principals with modern scientific knowledge. "He had no boundaries because he never had a book," Baybayan said. "Nainoa just had an idea, a love." According to Baybayan, Piailug "appreciated diversity" and "stepped out of a circle of secrecy by being brave enough to take the task ahead." He was chosen to guide the first voyage of Hokulea in 1976 because the rest of the navigators in Micronesia refused. He helped prove the canoe could sail from Hawaii to Tahiti without instruments. "Mau knew knowledge has no value unless you shared it with everyone," he said. |
