Children’s values are formed by about age 11 to 12.  Parents and family play a big part in this process but friends do too.  Most teenagers want to fit in or belong and sometimes new ideas learned from friends don’t match your own.

Most conflict between parents and teenagers is about minor things like dress and activities.  At this time what their friends think is often more important than your views.  Reduce conflict by respecting your teenager’s right to have different views and by teaching them to respect all views—including those of your family.

You can help your teenager when you:

·     remember they are trying to be independent—are taking risks, testing limits and their ability to make decisions

·    give them the opportunity to make their own choices, decisions and mistakes

·    trust them to learn from experience

·    talk about you opinions in a moderate way

·    talk about any concerns calmly, focusing on the behavior or concern not the teenager.

Parents often worry their teenager is “in the wrong crowd” and could do something stupid or dangerous.  Be patient and trust them.  Reinforce the views you value and encourage them to discuss any concerns.

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