Why does TV sometimes frighten our children
and what can we do about it?

Television's capacity to frighten your child has to do with their ability to know what is and isn't real. Until your child is able to tell the difference between fantasy and real life experiences - usually around the age of seven or eight - it is likely that they will be afraid of things solely because of how they look. As children get older, appearance starts to be less frightening and the idea behind something can cause great concern.  Though it is often hard to predict what may frighten your child, there are specific things you can do to keep them feeling safe.

As for helping soothe your child once they have been frightened by something on TV, hugs and cuddly blankets may go further than words and rational descriptions. That's because young children lack the cognitive ability to be talked out of being afraid. It's not the idea of something that terrifies young children. It's the dreadful monster careening across the screen that sends them screaming. Your child may be able to repeat something they have heard you say, e.g. "The monster is just made up," but they may not understand what this means, namely, the monster doesn't exist and can't hurt them. As Joanne Cantor, who has been studying children's fright responses to TV for many years and author of Mommy I'm Scared explains: "Children in this age group prefer an adult's attention and warmth, distracting activities, and other remedies that do not involve logical reasoning."

Minimizing TV Fear

• Watch out for programs and movies that may frighten your child, especially just before bedtime.
  If your child becomes scared, physical comforts, such as a cuddly toy, a hug or something to drink often can be more soothing than being talked into "everything being okay."

• Get to know the TV programs and movies your child watches.
  If you know that something horrible-looking is about to appear, prepare your child by offering warnings that defuse them fear. For example, "Here come those monkeys. They look gross and mean, but they're really silly."

• Consider what messages your child is picking up from the news and other adult programs that you watch.
  Spend time talking with them and trying to understand how they “see” the situations in our world. Though it may seem that your child isn't paying attention, they may be picking up pieces of stories and seeing images that are upsetting and confusing such as September 11^th, 2001 or more recently the east coast sniper.

Parent Ed HomePage  More Parenting Tips FSSWH Home